Credit: Josh Kirby/Terry Pratchett/Irresistibly Fish
Do you remember The Luggage1 from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels?
This Indiegogo project appears to come closer than anything I had imagined possible:
More detail at:
1 “The Luggage is a fictional object that appears in several of the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett. Its function is to act as both a luggage carrier & bodyguard for its owner, against whom no threatening motion should be made. The Luggage is fiercely defensive of its owner, & is generally homicidal in nature, killing or eating several people & monsters & destroying various ships, walls, doors, & other obstacles throughout the books.”
Discworld Wiki: “The Luggage”, https://discworld.wikia.com/wiki/The_Luggage